Drake understands women who went to college,
Especially the first generation of Black women to go to college.
The first generation of Black women to go to college usually understand their fathers.
Their fathers understand them because their fathers were usually raised by single mothers.
When their dads left, they had to learn how to protect and provide for themselves and their mothers.
They know exactly what their mothers worry about.
Mothers worry about protecting and feeding their kids.
If their kids are fed and protected, they won’t worry.
Who wants to see their mom worry?
No one
So, who gets the best of a single mother?
The people who help her feed and protect her kids,
They sleep in shifts.
When she needs to take care of herself, he steps up.
When he needs his time, she steps up and watches the kids.
But, it’s not enough to watch the kids.
If you don’t study the kids, you’ll never know what they need and want.
If you never learn what they need and want, you’ll never learn how to teach them how to get it.
If you never teach them how to get what they need and want, they’ll figure it out on their own.
They’ll find someone who can teach them the game.
Their mom/father,
Their grandmother/grandfather,
Their aunt/uncle,
Their big cousin,
Their big sister/brother,
You can’t ever be both at once.
But, we get so hung up on gender roles that we try.
It’s not about semantics. It’s about relationships.
My biological father isn’t my dad. My dad is my biological father on paper. But in my head, my father is Jay Z and my biological father is my dad. Jay Z was my God before I understood what God was. I didn’t understand who God was for other people. I also didn’t feel like I could ask anyone. Therefore, I used context clues.
The clues I got from observing others enabled me to realize that God is the person people need around them to ensure they feel safe and secure in their darkest moments. The first person they call out to in moments of darkness and confusion.
“These days, I’m letting God handle all things above me.”
If I can’t figure it out, I let go and let God. God can be anyone now. God can be whoever allows you to let go of the need to worry, and just take a moment to listen and process. When you do this, you’ll be able to do whatever else it is that you need or want to do.
If you need to go on autopilot, who will be your co-pilot? Who is going to watch your 6? If you need to sleep, who do you trust to take care of whatever it is that keeps you up at night? Your kids, your house, your business, your partner? If I’m not around, who’s going to watch my assets? Who is going to watch over everything that I normally protect?
Who gets the best of you? Who do you choose to hang out with when you’re awake?
My dad and the kids.
Who does my mom choose to hang out with when she’s awake and at her best? Her friends.
Why does she worry about us all night? We’re up watching the kids and the house.
What does she need to worry about?
NOTHING!
I release you from being my mom. You did all the worrying for me when I was a baby, before I went to school. When I needed you to worry for me, you did.
At school, I found the people who worry for me. My teachers, friends and counselors. They all worried about me, so I didn’t have to. I could focus on being my best self when they were around. But when I got home, I didn’t have that space.
The only place I could get that space was in my room. But then, I had to deal with people constantly criticizing me. Even in my room, the negative voices got to me. So, the only way I could block them out was by listening to other voices: music.
When I chose which voices to listen to, I guided myself.
I listened to Jay Z, Lil Wayne, Kid Cudi, Mac Miller, etc. to guide me and protect me when my dad wasn’t around.
My outlet? It was writing.
I studied story tellers and therefore, I produced stories.
By listening to the voices in my head when I was in my deepest darkest moments,
That’s how.
Everyone processes information differently than they deliver it.
Some people need to hear it.
Some people need to see it.
If you’re able to do both, everyone can learn from you.
I had to take Man on a ride along while I talked to Misha.
They both learned the same lessons.
And when they got it, they were able to go do whatever it is that they naturally do when they have a quiet headspace.
Sleep, write, draw.
Man sleeps, Mookie writes, Misha draws.
Everyone has an outlet.
Everyone has a communication style.
If you study someone enough, you’ll figure out both.
Once you do, you can teach them anything.
Once you teach them, they’ll never need to come to you again.
But they will.
They’ll come to you when they’re trying to do it for themselves for the first time,
Because it’s different when you try to do something on your own,
Someone can show you a finished product,
They can tell you how to do it,
But when you’re ready to do it, you’ll just figure it out yourself,
Once you try to figure it out and you have a question, you’ll ask it,
Then you’ll keep going,
Every time you meet an obstacle that you can’t move on your own, you’ll ask for help,
Because someone has shown and told you how.
Now, you’ll show and tell someone else when you’re ready.
If you know how to show and tell lessons, you’ll be able to get inside ANYONE’S head.
You’ll be able to teach ANYONE.
If teaching is your natural gift, no school or job will be able to teach you how to do that.
Just keep teaching people how to do things.
Then, they’ll always come back to you for help.
You gave them something they needed, now they’ll give you whatever you want.
If you want time, they’ll give you energy.
You can never have both.
You need to rest in order to have energy.
You can’t rest if you don’t have time to rest.
You can’t be your best self if you don’t rest.
If you aren’t your best self, you can’t do the things you want to do.
If you don’t have time or energy to do the things you want to do for yourself, you won’t be able to be your best self for anyone else.
Choose a life partner who gives you time to do what you need to do for yourself.
That way, you’ll always give them the best of you.
If you always give them the best of you, they’ll give you the best of them.
The only way they can give you the best of them is if you take care of whatever it is that’s worrying them.
What distracts them from giving you their best self?
Do whatever that is.
Protect them, feed them, watch their house, watch their kids
Watch their back when they can’t
That’s a life partner.
If you have a life partner, you won’t need a work wife/husband.
You won’t need to work at all.
