Every morning I wake up and every night I can’t sleep, I am plagued by first world problems. Conveniently bombarded with rapid fire news updates from around the world, I am also waterboarded with y’alls opinions. Like assholes. An acquired taste.
Lately, there’s been a gnawing increase in the use of the word “female” on social media by both Black men and women (I’ll address how and why Black women help perpetuate patriarchy in another post).
Cue the Black men who debate Black women on how Black women should be addressed! No literally, I got into a twitter debate with a Black man who tweeted, “I knew the world was getting weird when “Female” became an insult lmao.” *sighs*
Let’s get wordy.
Definition of female
- In a field of milkweed, I watched a female monarch butterfly deposit a single egg on the underside of a leaf. —Tom Tyning
- A few months later, she became the highest paid female performer on the Great White Way. —Susannah McCorkle
- a female holly
- femaleinflorescences
- composed for female voices
- a female name
- a female glove
- female suffrage
- female castanets
- the female coupling of a hose
In short, female is an adjective used to describe organisms with certain sex organs. It is in no way, shape, or form, a noun appropriate for labeling one’s identity.
In Friday, when Craig beats Deebo’s ass for hitting Debbie, saying, “Man, that’s a female,” is appropriate in this moment for the same reason that this cisgendered boy fighting this cisgendered girl is not appropriate, even if he is gay. Your sex organs at birth determine your sex. Although neither are permanent and neither are linked to your identity, females and males of any species should not spar. So, would it still be wrong for Caitlyn Jenner to whoop Kris Jenner’s ass? *Kanye shrugs*
If all of this jargon is going over your head, let’s take a step back. Think of the people who matter most to you.
If someone called my little cousin an autistic, we would have to throw hands (no one fucks with my cub). He is a Black boy. And a math whiz. And an avid gamer. NOT an autistic. Autistic is a way to describe how his brain functions. Many of my students are also Black boys, math whizzes, and avid gamers but cannot be described as autistic.
Female, by definition, is a way to describe how the bodies of MOST cisgendered women work. My aunt has lost both ovaries. Woman. My sister has only one. Woman. MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson, Indya Moore, Angelica Ross, and Hailie Sahar have none. Women.
So why, Pray Tell, can’t you just call us WHO we are?
To reduce a woman down to her parts is to remove her identity, which makes it that much easier to degrade her.
So, ladies of all races and flavors, Hetero-sexual and LGBTQIA, let’s pay homage to the Queen and let ‘em know, we are #womenfirst.
